JOKES or Truisms

Ramblings of a Retired Mind - some thoughts.

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell
phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't
afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you
still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to
bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it
"Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh,
have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in
case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put
their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for
them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while
they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming
for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

"Enjoy Your Days-----Love Your Life"
"Life is a journey to be savored."






































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