I have a Labrador retriever.
I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to
check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina
Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a
car hit me
THANKS for stopping by, I do my best to acknowledge when someone leaves a comment,you do not have to be a member here & everyone is welcome. Ps: This site is monitored but not actively posting on a regular basis. Mostly these are stories & some photos saved from a defunct site known as Verdun Connections which was on MSN Groups initially then on a social network called Multiply.
8 comments:
I am laughing so hard!!!!! You're lucky you didn't get the needle and end up in a common grave with the rest of the dead dogs!! Dianne
Dianne I see you are a dog lover and that is good. So am I very much so. My brother had a large lab who would unashamedly plop down his 60 pound body directly in front of the television and horrify my sister in law's guests with this doggy behavior. Got to love them.
Second Avenue.
biking2006 I have a dog and she is part yellow lab. She is a wonderful girl but she does some things girls shouldn't do especially when we have company! Oh, well gives us something to talk about! BTW....nice picture of the Lab! Here is my dog Aurora. We call her Rory for short! She is a saucy girl too....always has the last word! Dianne
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Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman, and, the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink." The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do." They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed." The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Doberman?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good." The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so, she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again, the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed." The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?" The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a ?????? Chihuahua ???!!!"
Labs are great. Mine has a head the size of a horse and weighs two hundred pounds. Recently I had fall in which my nose moved a heavy book case about two feet. As I lay on the floor stunned the lab came and sat on me. His intention of course was to protect me while I was down. Until my eyes cleared I thought the ceiling fell in. Ed
You're a madman, Bill. I love it.
BobB
Bill. Thanks for the info on "The Purina Diet". I think it is starting to work. I didn't know I was such a contorsionist. Also thanks for the advice about staying out of the streets. Winston Allison
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