This is my 30th sober birthday in AA. Put the plug in the jug August
31st 1976 in Hensall Ontario. I had blood coming out of both ends and
diagnosed with an enlarged liver -- lucky to be alive today. Born with
the Irish Virus. Was a member of the C.I.A. Catholic Irish Alcoholic.
Second Avenue.
THANKS for stopping by, I do my best to acknowledge when someone leaves a comment,you do not have to be a member here & everyone is welcome. Ps: This site is monitored but not actively posting on a regular basis. Mostly these are stories & some photos saved from a defunct site known as Verdun Connections which was on MSN Groups initially then on a social network called Multiply.
41 comments:
Congrats & Happy Birthday! Gordo
Congratulations to you, Coop, my brother who wouldn't or couldn't stop that
dreadful malady, was taken from us when he was a little more than 55 years
old. I miss my older brother & think about him a lot. You did a very good
thing & I am so very glad that you did. Hats off to you, you beat the
odds....Keep on keeping on......
Norman
>From: "SecondAve"
>Reply-To: "Verdun Connections"
>To: Verdun Connections
>Subject: 30 years of sobriety.
>Date: Fri, 1 Sep 2006 02:46:13 -0700
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> This is my 30th sober birthday in AA. Put the plug in the
>jug August
>31st 1976 in Hensall Ontario. I had blood coming out of both ends and
>diagnosed with an enlarged liver -- lucky to be alive today. Born with
>the Irish Virus. Was a member of the C.I.A. Catholic Irish Alcoholic.
>Second Avenue.
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Well Happy birthday and many many more. Imagine if everytime you wanted a drink but resisted and put the $$ in a jar how much would be in that jar now. Hope that all your medical problems have been reversed.
Wonderful, If you hadn.t stopped we wouldn't have your great postings. Incidentally, when you stopped, did you go back to looking like you did in your teenage photo? It didn't work for me. Ed
Congratulations Bill on reclaiming your life all those 30 years ago.
BobB
Thats everyone for the pat on the back. Believe me, it had nothing to
do with my shrewd thinking. My thinking got me to the doors of AA
with the arrows sticking out of my behind. When I hit my bottom, I
was very fortunate to reconnect with a childhood buddy from 1st
Avenue (Bob Goudie). He had discovered AA 3 years before and he
invited me to his home in Ontario to sober up. Haven't had a drink
since. Thank you AA & H.P., and I don't mean the sauce.
I, like many alkies, grew up with alcoholism around me, and the
related codependency of the family. Most people who lived in
alcoholic homes for a long period of time, either become alcoholics
or marry them. Very tragic especially for the children. There is hope
guys and gals.
Anyway here I am sober 10,953 days later, living the life of Riley.
'Every' morning I take my retired 65 year old bod out to mountain
bike the trails along the beach and watch the sun come up over the
blue pacific ocean. I participate in a number of senior citizen
activities including acting classes every Sunday evening as well as
volunteering in my local hospital once a week. Life is good -- and
short!
Second Avenue.
Just checking out my new features. Here is a photo from my morning biking\. Lets see if is posted. Margo I changed my email address to cooperw001@mac.com and registered anew
S.A.
try thius one it's smaller.
S.A.
How do you send a photo? Okay I got it.
Good for you for kicking th habit, Ruth
biking2006 Hurray .... now we hope to see more pics of your beautiful part of the globe. But, first, have to get used to seeing your new moniker. Cheers.
Hi, SecondAve, Belated congratulations on your 30-year sobriety. I, too, am in the same club ... have been for over 20 years now, but do not have an anniversary date to celebrate. Enjoy reading your posts on the bios of writers. Regards to all, Jack, a.k.a. bombog2004
Us Verdun boys did a lot of drinking. Its no wonder that some of us didn't make it.. Others just screwed up their lives totally. Congratulations to you Bill
Jack and Second Ave, You are both an inspiration! Congratulations! The hardest thing to do is overcome an addiction, any addiction. How did you do it? Some of us struggle every day with other addictions. I for one am addicted to carbs. Truly! And since I have diabetes 2, it is a health issue. So what advice would you give me? How did you stay focused? With thanks. Dolly
Heart felt congratulations! I grew up surrounded on all sides by alcoholism, C.I.A. had a firm grip on all sides of my family. I quickly learned the effects booze has not only on the drinker, but also on their family and friends. I wished for many, many years that my father would find what it took to quit. He never did, at least not that I know, since over the years he managed to alienate himself from most everyone. I'm sure your family has been thrilled to have the real you back. Keep strong and thank you for sharing. sewingnutz
Hi, Sabby: How'd I do it -- stop drinking? I write this if it will help anyone, and please remember it is from my perspective only. I don't know if there is one reason or answer, but for me there was a variety of them. First, I had to have that desire to stop, and that came about because of self-hate. I hated myself for what I was doing, and what I did to my loved ones. The booze was controlling me, not the other way around. Then I had to have that will and fortitude to carry it through, and even then I didn't know if I was going to make it or not. A motivating factor for me was having blackouts. I couldn't remember that space of two or three hours after getting looped, or how I even got home sometimes. I'd drink anything; it didn't matter -- beer, wine, any sort of hard drink. I was a lush. There's an old saying about why a person drinks: "Some drink to remember, some drink to forget, and some drink because they don't know why." I was (past tense here) a combo of all three. But I'm still an alcoholic -- a "sober" alcoholic. When I meet people for the first time, and the subject or occasion of drinking comes up, I tell them without hesitation that I'm an alcoholic. I didn't know that alcoholism was in my genes (and also in my two brothers) because, being a foster child, I never found out my family history until my late 30s, when I started to search for my birth parents. But to answer your question specifically, Sabby, I stopped carrying "drinking" money with me, and took a different route home so I wouldn't enter my favourite bar (Bert's, on Dollard) and drink up my cash -- $20, $60, whatever I had on me. And, when that was spent, I'd borrow some money, so the next night I had an excuse to return to the bar and pay my debt. One must keep their word, you see. And so the process continued-- drink, spend, borrow, pay back, drink again and again. Here are some passing comments and observations on alcoholism: I never belonged to AA; I brought one person to a meeting, but never became a member myself. I'm uncomfortable around people drinking, and I avoid company Christmas parties or any place where there's drinking. Rarely will I get a taste for a drink; and when I do, it passes within a second. When I started attending church (Anglican), at the altar rail I'd take only the Host, and not drink from the chalice. I did this for two years. Some Anglican and Catholic priests, because of performing Mass so many times per day and having to drink the remaining wine in the chalice, have become alcoholics. I think that any addiction -- no matter what it is: alcoholism, gambling, overeating -- is symptomatic of underlying problems that have not been dealt with. Both the physical and the psychological must be treated. And finally, before closing, I apologize to any member who might question why I feel the need to give such a lengthy, personal answer. I can't speak for Second Ave, of course, but I feel he wouldn't disagree with me when I say that we both know the living hell that someone can go through. And I'm thankful to be given the opportunity to post anything that will help someone else. Have a good Sunday, Everyone, Jack, a.k.a. bombog2004
I just passed my 25th year of not drinking. Feels good. Winston Allison
Congratulations to all who have succeeded in winning the battle of addiction. Whether it be alcohol or drugs or smoking I am sure it must be very difficult habit to break and get control over. Dianne
Congrats, Winnie! You beat me by two or three years. My last drink was at my friend's wedding. I had champagne because I hate the stuff. I knew if I drank anything else, well, on the toot I 'd go. Cheers! (no pun intended) Jack
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Hi Jack, Thank you for sharing. You are a brave, courageous man. And I've been touched. . Dolly
Hi Bombog2004, I see no reason why anyone would take offense to your comments. I believe they came from the heart to those who may ned help to understand the process one has to go through to overcome an addiction and move on and succeed with their lives. I have friend back in the Plattsburgh area that became clean and sober after many years of a sad life . She said to me one day, Ruth, most alcohlics get loaded and fall flat on their face, I fell flat on my back and I have 3 kids. She loves them dearly but she has now been clean and sober for over 20 years.And now works with alcohics to get them back on the path of sobriety. Take care And keep up the good work Ruth
Hi Jack. I was so touched by your message, and wanted to thank you for showing what courage and strength you have, and best of all, what a wonderful gift you have given to your family. As you know I had to leave my husband after 33 years, because he chose that life over me. Now my son has just had his first birthday, clean and sober, and I am so proud of him. He said he didn't want to repeat what he has seen in the past , and now that he is a father, he wants only the best for his children. As for me, the best thing that I did for myself was go to Al-Anon. Unfortunally I didn't know about Al-Anon until after I left, but it gave me all the tools that I needed to take care of myself, that will follow me for the rest of my life. I am so glad that I have found my dear friend after so many years, and wish you many more years of being sober, and also being able to share your life with your family, the way we all dream about. With fond memories. Joyce Pedder
Norman very about your brother. He must have been experienceing 'denial' . Alcoholism, as you know, is a disease which tells us we have no disease. So step one is admitting we are alcoholics and our lives had become unmanageable. I still remember growing up on 2nd Avenue the alcoholics. One fellow jumped from the 3rd story balcony across the street from me.
Anyway there is great hope with AA and the various treatment centers we have today. Great hope.
S.A.
Norman very sorry about your brother,
Bill
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Hi, Everyone, Your kind responses to my post on alcoholism moved me to tears, and I thank you all for your caring. But I truly feel that the credit should go to SecondAve for having the honesty and courage to start the thread. All I did was expand on it from my own experience. I would like to reply to some of your responses before finally finishing with this thread, because I think we'll all need a rest from it soon. I know at least I will, so this will be my final thoughts on the subject. Sewingnutz1: I'm sorry about your father. Sometimes we have no other choice but to pray for our loved ones and leave them in the hands of God. Sabby: Oh, I wish I were that brave and courageous! You speak of other addictions, and they also can cause a living hell for a person bound by them. I know: I have OCD. Ruth: I love your sense of humour -- "I fell flat on my back and had three kids." I wrote this to someone the other day, and it applies to your friend: She's the wounded healer, the soldier in the trenches helping others. I'm like the armchair general who does a helluva lot of talking. Joyce dear: My heart goes out to you. We male drinkers can tell many of our own horror stories (that's if we can remember some of them), but sometimes we don't understand the pain and heartache we've caused our family. We might have a sense of it, understand it intellectually, but I don't think we will truly understand it. You're the one to get the bravery medal, and to carry on. Norman: That is so sad about your brother. Such despair you and your family must have experienced can only be understood by another who has watched someone they love spiral down that road of self-destruction. I'm so sorry. I think the wives of male alcoholics are the unsung heroes. No one I knew told me I had a drinking problem -- except my wife. But did I listen to her? Of course not! What man born in the 40s listened to his wife? I'm sure some did, but I certainly wasn't one of them at the time. I was a happy drunk. I'd never drink if I was in a bad mood -- so I made sure I was happy all the time! That also meant rewarding myself at the end of my shift. I worked nights at Maislin's. It didn't dawn on me that I might have a drinking problem until I asked some of my drinking buddies if I underwent any personality changes when I drank. I was surprised when they said I did. So that's when I started to put it all together -- drinking alone ... blackouts ... hiding bottles in my briefcase and telling my wife I was going to work on a Saturday or Sunday, but never ended up there, finding myself in places a married man shouldn't have gone ... and so on. Had I not stopped drinking in the early 80s, I'd probably be dead now -- not from the booze itself, but from the stupidity that went with it. There, I'm finished. Finally. I really hope that all these posts on this subject will help someone in need. Now all I need is a good cup of coffee and to say ... Good night and God bless, Jack
Sabby check out Overeaters Anonymous. for the carb addiction. It works on the same principals of AA. -- the 12 steps of recovery. It is also a free spiritually based program.
http://www.oa.org/all_about_meetings.htm
Second Avenue
Bombog (Jack) I will say this ,you had the wherewithall to tell your story,without the need of a soapbox,...........Preaching isn't everyone's cup of tea,...However I find your ability to relay these stories ,without condemnation,very admirable,...... .........Congrats to You & all Our other members ,who helped themselves,to gain control of your lives,....... I'm sure Most people can relate to either family.personal,or business problems caused by a substance that is out of our control............. Another thing I have learned recently,is that ,some things are not in our control, Whether it be an addiction,....or just one of Life's problems,.......no one person's problem is ,insignificant,nor is it any more important than,any other episode in one's Life.............but the Courage to Deal With it, Is Commendable,as well as Humbling, ...............Thanks for your post........... "Have Fun & Remember Verdun"
Second Ave. I checked OA a thousand years ago when I thought I was fat and I was normal. . Scary! I have a slow metabolism and hey menopause doesn't help. My doctor says I need to exercise more but my lifestyle is such that I park myself in front of a computer all day. My boss runs marathons. A real inspiration, Type A personality. I take no pleasure in moving my butt. Guess I'm more interested in moving my mind. Sigh! Dolly
Hi Jackie. I also loved my husband , and couldn't imagine ever leaving him, but after years of emotional abuse, I finally woke up one day and reolize that this is not what love is at all. I once wrote in my journal, " I thought I would die if I ever lost you, but know I know, I surley will die, if I stay with you. " After I left him, I cried for years, went to every self help group I could find, but I must say Al-Anon was the one that has stayed with me over the years, sinceI have been on my own. Now I finally know who Joyce is, and have so much more to offer my children and grandchildren than I ever would have years before. Life is good. Thanks. Joyce Pedder
Jack. Did you know Gordie Brennan? Winston Allison
Great job on your 30th anniversary. It'll be seven years for me Jan 30th. I did it after being fed up with hangovers. The thought of my last one keeps me away from the sauce lol. I haven't been to any support groups, but wonder if it would have worked out differently. Mike
Whatever works good buddy.
S.A.
Isn't life wonderfu?. We are in a situation of our own making, whether it is us who need to get straight or our spouses. We know things are bad, but until we take the cure, or get out of a situation that we find ourselves in, we don't realize just how bad things are. I think each of us can feel proud of what we have done. Those that became sober and hopefully made things better for ourselfs, and our families, and those who thought they could not live without someone, who thought they could not make it on their own. It is scary both ways because most of us are scared of failure. But when we look back we can feel pretty good about how things have turned out. To those who realized they needed to make a change, who had the courage (and were as scared as hell) and took one step forward to find a better life, congradulations to each of us. And for the sharing that encourages each of us,
that all things are possible. Three cheers to all. Life is wonderful!!!!!!!! Winston Allison
Hi, Les and Winnie: Les: Thank you. That is truly a profound thought you've written: "No one's problem is insignificant, nor is it any more important than any other episode in one's life." This is very Zennist, if I can use that word. Don't live for the moment—LIVE the moment, for it is in the present moment that all things happen ... life, death, problems, sex, enlightenment, and so on. Yesterday we lived in the present, and tomorrow we will, too. Everything that happens in a day is an opportunity for growth, creativity, and challenge ... I better stop, because I think I'm getting preachy. Winnie: I don't remember the name, Gordie Brennan, but maybe I'd recognize the face if I saw him. Did he go to VHS? If he remembers me, and I don't remember him, then I'm older than I actually am. Jack
Hi bombog,.Jack,....Don't stop,.it was just getting good,........makes us think: I'm not sure about the Zennist word either...........hahahahaha but we understood it: HF&RV
Jack you said you worked nights at Maislin's. Here worked there many years ago, and has since passed away. Just thought you might have known him. Winsaton Allison
Winnie, sorry, I still can't recall him.
I worked on the night shift in the Rate Dept. from 1976 until the company went bankrupt. It was a very closed-in group, along with the Billing or Filing Dept, so I didn't know too many people there except other rate clerks on the day shift.
Regards,
Jack
Thanks Jack. Gordie Brennan worked there for over 20 years until they went belly up. If I remember, he said he lost his pension and everything because of that bankruptsy. Winston Allison
Sad, indeed, Winnie. I was one of four members of CNUME (the Committee for Non-Unionized Maislin Employees). We helped employees file claims with Transport Canada and/or the trustees, I can't remember. Everyone was shocked when Maislin went under. Although I've long since forgotten everything about it, the bankruptcy still brings back unpleasant memories. Please forgive me for not wanting to talk about it further. Jack
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