Birth Order of Children

*THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN*

Your Clothes: *
1st baby:* You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms  your pregnancy. *
2nd baby:* You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. *
3rd baby:* Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth: *
1st baby:* You practice your breathing religiously. *
2nd baby:* You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing  didn't
do a thing. *
3rd baby:* You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette: *
1st baby:* You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold
them neatly in the baby's little bureau. *
2nd baby:* You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard
only the  ones with the darkest stains. *
3rd baby:* Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries: *
1st baby:* At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the
baby. *
2nd baby:* You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn. *
3rd baby:* You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing..
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Pacifier: *
1st baby:* If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can
go  home and wash and boil it. *
2nd baby:* When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
some  juice from the baby's bottle. *
3rd baby:* You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering: *
1st
baby:* You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it
or not. *
2nd baby:* You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. *
3rd baby:* You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain  about
the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities: *
1st baby:* You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby
Story Hour. *
2nd baby:* You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. *
3rd ba by:* You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out: *
1st baby:* The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home
five times. *
2nd baby:* Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached. *
3rd baby:*
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.
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At Home:
*1st baby:* You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. *
2nd baby:* You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. *
**3rd baby:* You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite): *
1st child:* When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital  and demand x-rays. *
2nd child:* When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the
coin to pass. *
3rd child:* When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from
his
allowance!
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Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone who
KNOWS  someone who has had children . . . (The older the mother, the funnier
this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN :
God's reward for allowing your children to live

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