Thursday, May 31, 2007

funnies....or not!

Subject: funnies....or not!

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.

Wife : "What do you mean, nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour now."

Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

Wife : "Do you want dinner?"

Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"

Wife : "Yes and no."


Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"

Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."

Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask
myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"


Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."


Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mom: "Well, you have done the
right thing."

Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."


A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"


Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."


Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."


A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."


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1 comment:

biking2006 MSN said...

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat
right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." This is incredible", said the
man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game
of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was
supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup
we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." Oh ... I'm
sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a
friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at the funeral."