Living Will.

New Living Will Form

 I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not
wish
to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead
partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth - grade biology if their
lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply
running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one
of the following:

______a Bloody Mary,
______a Margarita
______a Scotch and soda
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______The remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______Chocolate
______Sex

it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed
person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and
call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz
Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my
friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub.
The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them
don't even need embalming when their time comes ...