Julie Andrews and AARP

 

Subject: Julie Andrews and AARP

 

Don't know if this is true but it is clever.

 

To commemorate her 69th birthday October 1, actress-vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of AARP, the association for retired people. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" from the movie and musical Sound of Music. However, the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the entertainment of her blue-hair audience:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac's and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,

When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim, then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted
over four minutes with