Now thatVancouverhas won the chance to host the Winter Olympics in 2010,
the following are some questions people the world over have been asking.
These are actual questions posted on an International Tourism website.
Q: I have never seen it warm in Canadaon tv, so how do the plants grow?
(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and just sit around and watch them
die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar bears in the streets?
(USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver toToronto- can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes inCanada?
(Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes huh?
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and address of places to
contact
for a stuffed beaver.
(Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one!
Q: Are there any ATM (cash) machines inCanada? Can you send me a list of
them in Edmonton,Vancouver,Toronto and Halifax?
(UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some info. about hippo racing inCanada?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da
is that big country to the north of you.....oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night inCalgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North inCanada?
(USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get there
and
we'll give you the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?
(UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like the rest of us.
Q: Can you send me the schedule for the Vienna Boys Choir?
(USA)
A: Aus-tr-ia is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y which
is...oh
forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Monday night in
Vancouver
and every Tuesday night inCalgary- right after the hippo races. Come
naked.
Q: Do you have perfume inCanada?
(Germany)
A: No WE don't stink!
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where
can I
sell it in Canada?
(USA)
A: Anywhere that significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me regions of British Columbia where the female
population
is smaller than the male population?
(Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving inCanada?
(USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets inCanada and is milk available year round?
(Germany)
A: No we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunters/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada but I can't
remember
what it's called. It is like a big horse with horns.
(USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of
anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself
with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canadain 1969 on R+R and want to contact a girl I met there
in
Surrey, B.C. Can you help me?
(USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to talk English most places where I go?
(USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn to speak it first!
THANKS for stopping by, I do my best to acknowledge when someone leaves a comment,you do not have to be a member here & everyone is welcome. Ps: This site is monitored but not actively posting on a regular basis. Mostly these are stories & some photos saved from a defunct site known as Verdun Connections which was on MSN Groups initially then on a social network called Multiply.
7 comments:
oh my oh my! Some people eh! this one's my fave!: Q: Can you give me some info. about hippo racing inCanada?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da
is that big country to the north of you.....oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night inCalgary. Come naked.
What the heck are people thinking??
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving inCanada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving. This reminds me of a story a taxi driver told me when he picked up an American at his hotel to bring him to the airport - it just happened to be the Canadian Thanksgiving. The man, who was sitting in the back of the taxi, leaned forward and asked the taxi driver, "so this is Thanksgiving Day in Canada?" The taxi driver said ,"yes". The American said, "we have Thanksgiving Day too but we celebrate it November 24th". The taxi driver explain to the American that Canada celebrates it's Thanksgiving earlier than the US because our harvest is much earlier than much of the US. So the American thought about that for a few minutes and then leaned over to the taxi driver again and asked him, "when do you celebrate Christmas?" Apparently a true story told to me by the taxi driver. If it is true, man, they grow some stupid people south of the border! Heather Holdgate (Pickering ON)
Heather, You left me in suspense here. What day does Canada celebrate Christmas on ?
American " Does Canada have July 4th ?" Canadian " No !" American " Then how does Canada get from July 3rd to July 5th ?"
hi Bill, the best one was when some Americans came to us when we were fill up and asked us where to buy Tidal Bore licences as they herd we here in Nova Scotia had the largest Tidal Bore. Patsy
Hi Heather,
First I have to say that stupidity transcends all borders, no
country is immune.I also have add that these type of stories have
proliferated orally as well as now electronically, bearing every ethnicity,
race, nationality and different type of people you can imagine. Just insert
the type and you have another "very true" story!
Alan Archie
"South of the Border"
When I first joined the US navy in 1959, I was asked on a few
occasions, "How much was land in Canada?" They must have thought Canada
was still a vast expanse of virgin land. Pioneer spirit remains in the
American I think -- me too.
"A child's hand in yours -- what tenderness and power it arouses. You
are instantly the very touchstone of wisdom and strength."
- Marjorie Holmes
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