Advantages to Being Over 50

 

 

Yes, being over  50 does have its  advantages... 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People  call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. People no longer view you  as a hypochondriac. 6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4  p.m. 9. You can live without sex (but not without glasses). 10.  You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. 11. You get into a  heated argument about pension plans. 12. You have a party and the  neighbors don't even realize it. 13. You no longer think of speed limits  as a challenge. 14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no  matter who walks into the room. 15. You sing along with the elevator  music. 16. Your eyes won't get much worse. 17. Your investment  in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 18. Your joints are  more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. 19. Your  secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.