You know you're from Montreal when.

You pronounce it "Muntreal", not "Mawntreal".

You have ever said anything like "I have to stop at the guichet before
we get to the dep."

Your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.

You understand and frequently use terms like 'unilingual,' 'anglophone,'

'francophone,' and 'allophone.'

You agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud of
their nerves of steel.

The most exciting thing about the South Shore is that you can turn right
on a red.

You know that the West Island is not a separate geographical formation.

In moments of
paranoia, you think that there's no red line on the Metro
because red is a federalist colour.

You have to bring smoked meat from Schwartz's and bagels from St-Viateur
if you're visiting anyone west of Cornwall.

You refer to Tremblant as "up North."

You know how to pronounce Pie IX.

You have an ancient auntie who still says "Saint Dennis."

You believe to the depth of your very being that Toronto has no soul but
your high school reunion is held in Toronto because most of your
classmates live there now.

You greet everyone, from lifelong bosom friends to some one you met once
a few years ago, with a two-cheek kiss.

You know at least one person who works for the CBC, and at least one
other person who used to work for Nortel.(Northern
Electric)

You're not impressed with hardwood floors.

You've been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.

You can watch soft-core porn on broadcast TV, and this has been true for
at least 25 years.

You cringe when Bob Cole pronounces French hockey player names.

You get Bowser & Blue.

You were drinking cafe-au-lait before it was latte.

You order fries 'with sauce', not 'with gravy'.

Shopper's Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en Gros, and PFK
is finger lickin' good.

You really believe Just For Laughs is an international festival.

For two weeks a year, you are a jazz afficianado.

You need to be reminded by prominent signage that you should wait for
the green
light.

Everyone on the street - drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists - think
they're immortal, and that you'll move first.

You're proud that Montreal is the home of Pierre Trudeau, Mordechai
Richler, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen and the Great Antonio...and, you
consider Donald Sutherland (and by default, Keifer), Guy Lafleur,
Charlie Biddle, and Roch Carrier Montrealers, too.

You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.

You know the apocryphal story of the fat lady at Eaton's.

You miss apostrophes.

You've seen Brother Andre's heart.

No matter how bilingual you are, you still don't understand "ile aux
tourtes."

You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.

You measure temperature and
distance in metric, but weight and height in
Imperial measure.

You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.

April Wine once played your high school (alternatively, Sass Jordon or
Gowan).

You know that Montreal is responsible for introducing the following to
North
America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat and Supertramp. Also, Chris de
Burgh.

You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.

You have graduated from high school and have a degree, but you've never
been in grade 12.

The margarine in your fridge is the same colour as lard.

Every once in a while, you wonder whatever happened to Luba.

You never thought that Corey Hart was cool, but you know someone whose
cousin or something dated
him.

There has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in less than 24
hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.

You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.

You used to be an Expos fan, but now all you really miss is Youppi.

You're a Habs fan; always was, always will be...

You know that your city's reputation for beautiful women is based on
centuries-old couplings between French soldiers and royally-commissioned
whores (aka Les Filles du Roi).

You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the
accent.

You've been to the Tam Tams, and know they have nothing to do with wee
Scottish hats.

You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.

You encounter bilingual homeless
people.

While watching an American made-for-TV movie, you realize that "Vienna"
is actually Old Montreal, that "New York" is actually downtown and that
the "The Futuristic City" is actually Habitat '67.

You find it amusing when people from outside Quebec compliment you on
how good your English is.

You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Metro PA
system, no matter what the language.

You think of Old Montreal as nothing but a bunch of over-priced
restaurants,old buildings and badly paved streets.

You understand that La Fete Nationale is not a celebration of Quebec's
birthday".

You don't find American comedians speaking "gibberish" French even
remotely funny.

You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every
corner
downtown.

You like your pizza all-dressed

SAFETY

This is a copy of a letter I sent to The Montreal Gazette.  Ed

     Following the bus crash near Plattsburgh, I feel the necessity to write this letter. As a driver of more than three million miles experience I feel that all driver's should know what to do in case of a blown tire.
     When a tire deflates it tends to fold under the wheel and reverses with each turn. It tends to throw the vehicle one side and then the other. If  the car pulls right there is a tendency to want to pull left. Such a move can be fatal, which is what I suspect happened to the bus. Passengers said the bus veered right and then all the way to the left. The answer is to steer straight ahead. Hold the wheel firmly, ease off the accelerator and brake gently when you have control.
       A driver may go fourty years without ever blowing a tire but the half dozen or so times it happened to me at high speed this method always worked.   Ed Brown
3166 LaSalle
Verdun h4g 1y9

Beeaird

Where is Beeaird?

Lovell’s Directory

It would be great if there was a directory which had the names first
and the street after. My great grandparents Patrick and Mary Foy,
arrived in Canada from Ireland with my grandmother Annie (10 years old)
in the mid or late 1800s. They probably lived in Griffin Town or Goose
Village, but have no clue.
Second Avenue.

REUNION NEWS

I had the privilege of being present at the VHS '76 reunion in Verdun this month and had the pleasure of meeting Maggie (CEO) McKiernon. There were some great stories that brought back memories of the old alma mater. It was nice to see that not much changed from my years 51-52 to the seventies. It was great to meet you all. Good luck in the next 30 years. Ed

Rushbrooke Street.

Wow!
Thanks JM. Yes, William Cooper was my paternal grandfather. Is there a
entry for Coopers on Grand Trunk St. in the Point during the turn of
the last century (1900 or so)? I'll check out the site.
Second Avenue.

Rushbrooke Street

Does anyone remember the Herron family, Teddy, Dickie & Wendy?

Address, I think, was 3400 Rushbrooke St., almost opposite the elementary school.

They moved away in Dec. 1953.